"Love, if it finds you worthy will direct your course..." I am not without love. At times I may prefer to sink deep into a pocket of down, covering myself in layer over layer until I am tucked safely away from the light. The light won't shine through, the cats don't visit, and the clothes remain on the floor. But I wonder in the late hours of night, how I allowed myself to sleep away my one free day. I will myself to hide from the light in May. This year, the spring feels rushed. My day is getting closer, my age is getting older, and I wonder not what is around the corner, but hope instead for an awakening within me. If ever there was something to love, it would be the padded paw of a feline- the paw of Charlie the cat. He lets me press those pads to my lips, and because of this, I feel worthy. As i thank him, i hold back tears. It is a matter of time before the fires of life beat on my heart. What a cliche. I cannot hold a tune. Sometimes I wonder if I am not meant to dig holes. I once wrote, " I'd like to float around the frames of the pictures of my past, and rewrap them into perfect packages, with a nice bow that brings first joy to see and delight to reveal. From uncertainty and risk, to success of breath and a prayer for life. That I may define my purpose and shape my own destiny." 23 was an anxious age for me. I am hoping 24 will bring clarity to my bigger picture, or purpose on earth. Back to working on lightening up.